Overwhelmed with all the advice??
Overwhelmed by Advice? Here’s How to Filter What Matters Most
Pregnancy and motherhood are already tough enough, trying to learn your way and navigating the new dynamic in your family. And we all know with becoming a new mom, comes an abundance of good intentions and well-meaning advice from family, friends, and even strangers. Add in all those relatives you only see a few times a year for the holidays, you know - the ones whose kids are grown and who know exactly how to parent your children - and it can create additional unwanted stress and tension. Whether you’re preparing for birth or navigating new motherhood, it seems like everyone has opinions on what you “should” or “must” do. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, wondering which advice actually matters and what you can let go.
The first step to filtering advice is knowing what’s most important to you. Take a moment to reflect on what you value in this season—without the noise of outside opinions, social media posts, etc. Take some time to reflect on this and discuss it with your family so you are on the same page. When you’re clear on your own values, it becomes easier to let go of advice that doesn’t fit and accept the advice that does.
Ask yourself:
What matters most to me as I prepare for birth or raise my child?
What feels right for our family in this season and aligns with our beliefs?
How will you respond to others’ advice that doesn’t feel aligned with your values?
Even when you have clear values, sometimes, well-meaning advice can feel like pressure, especially during the holidays when family gatherings make it hard to escape. Instead of feeling caught off guard, take a moment to pause before responding. Ask yourself if this advice or comment is one that you need to set a boundary with, one that can be politely dismissed, or one that you may actually be helpful for your family. Always being on the defensive can be exhausting. Think about how you can acknowledge others’ advice without feeling obligated to act on it.
Examples of ways you could respond:
“Thank you, I’ll think about that.”
“I hadn’t thought about that. I’d love to hear more about how that worked for your family.”
“That’s a helpful idea; I’ll try incorporating that into our routine.”
“That’s an interesting perspective, but I think I’ll stick with what we’re doing.”
“I appreciate your suggestions, and we’ve found something that works for us.
One of the most important things to remember is that you are uniquely equipped for this journey. God has given you the intuition and wisdom to care for your family. Not every piece of advice will be right for you, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to trust your own instincts and create a path that feels right for you and your child.
When advice feels overwhelming, step away, pray, and remind yourself: I am capable, and I know what’s best for my family. Embracing this confidence can help you navigate even the busiest seasons without feeling pulled in every direction.
This holiday season, let’s embrace the abundance of advice with grace while staying true to what matters most. With a clear sense of your values, a gentle way to filter advice, and confidence in the wisdom God has given you, you can approach birth and motherhood with peace and purpose.
